Stop it.

I feel it.

I feel it happening. 

The dissociation. 

The slipping away. 

The walls going up. 

I feel it all happening and it is so overwhelming. 

I don't know if I can stop it this time... 

I'm trying. I'm fighting like hell to stop it.

I keep reminding myself that I am still breathing.

I am still present.

I am still here.

I don't want this. I don't want these feelings. I don't want these emotions.

I don't want to keep slipping away.

I don't want to lose myself completely. 

I feel like I am a shell of a person. I feel like I don't really belong here. 

I feel like I don't deserve to be here. 

I feel like I can't flip that switch to not feel this way... and I don't know what to do about it.